A glance at other's posts....Chris is almost home!

My husband is almost home! I'm still awake. Katya played me in checkers.... she won 2 times! I just glanced (didn't even read fully) at a few of the blogs on my page, and realize I HAVE IT EASY!

My big struggles today were 2 kids flipping over a game because it didn't go their way, and one of them calling me, sobbing, confessing her wrongdoing to me! And a couple little guys disrespecting their older sister with words...

A few short words from me, and a few apologies and we were at peace again.  Knock Knock jokes helped too. I appreciate any of you out there praying for us, because we do need it. Some days we need it and today I can tell someone out there is praying. Can you pray for an outing for Chris & I for his birthday...would like to do an over night if possible...just to really relax, it's been about 1 year since we got away for a night..which was at Dad & Mom's and has such special memories for our 15th anniversary...we are really fortunate...

I forgot to mention it was a snow day here...Katya had off school, the kids played outside for hours...shovelled the driveway without my asking...just too good to be true..except I'm finally getting the crud everyone else has had, but feeling much better now...

Love Alesia & Chris

Threats at bedtime, apolgies, and a better day...

It was a better day today. I made a new rule, my only way of coping these days, that if anyone asks me "why I am so mad" or talks to someone else about it, when it's obvious that I'm not mad, there will be consequences....so here we go, my turn to hold up my end of the parenting!

A few children apologized to each other today, and Katya apologized to me..she must have read the blog.

I miss my husband (to tears) and it's only been 1 day. I hope we can find a way to get away soon.

Lastly, Andre has been threatening Jonathan at night...to cut his head off, or punch him in the night.  I hope nothing like this ever comes true, but it's kind of scary to have this kind of talk. So I think I might need to start thinking up some new "rules"...

God Bless all of you....no news is good news from our end, so we'll let you know how the Districts turn out (mid march)...and all! Love Alesia & Chris

Why are you so mad??? ACT....coughing...

Hi,

The latest is when I have a rule about something, or it's time to quit a game, or get ready for bed I have a couple kids who say "Why are you so mad." It's this little game they play. I just tell them kindly that I'm not and that's not a good game to play and we move on, but it's very frustrating. I feel as if I trust them like a school teacher or a day care provider, I am ok, but when I cross over to mother, then I am constantly frustrated. I am finding the balance somehow though.

Everyone is coughing, and despite my telling them to blow their noses, many have just swallowed the gunk and now it's turning into bronchitis. Not sure who will be the first to go to doctor, but it might be coming soon. Many have had the same gunk and gotten over it, so not sure what to do there...

Jaclyn got a 34 on the ACT, composite. We'll be looking at PSEO a year early I think.  It's so funny when people ask, is it the real ACT? Jonathan's team is number 1 in his district, and he'll be playing District tournaments starting Friday! They have a strong chance at being #1 on top, and right now in the District, they are undefeated! Our goalie has 10 shutouts.
Chris went out of town for a few days. And Katya made sure to talk to him about me before he left about "how mad I am"....I am trying to show her kindness, but isn't it interesting how they like to say "she's mad"...anyway, I will trust her more fully when she can find something about our family (and me) to say to others that is kind and grateful. Instead of complaining. I don't know why she goes to Chris, doesn't she know that we talk? And when I made attempts to talk to her tonight, she made like everything was fine and there were no problems. It's really frustrating...but don't worry, I'm not mad, just sad mostly.

Speaking of frustrating...the man in charge of our homeschool hockey just beraded Jonathan and tried to pull me in on it last Friday. He tried to tell Jonathan that he thought he was so big, and not to be such a wimp all in the same lecture, and raised his voice unnecessarily, and a lady came over later and said he was completely rude. Anyway, the goal was to figure out to to reconcile and now things are worse than ever. I think Jonathan will be doing algebra during this hockey ice time. His offense was chiding his sister after a collision, every time she failed, missed the net, didn't pass right, and he wouldn't talk to the man in charge...anyway, I think he had been storing this up for a couple of weeks and let Jonathan have it....

Jonathan's hockey season has been more than I could have ever wanted. And his coach has had many words with him, and yet, didn't shame him, or say rude things like "you think you're bigger than me..well you're not, and I'm bigger than you and I'm in charge"...His good coach just says things like "do that one more time and you're benched"...no mean words, just rules...and that he enjoys having Jonathan on the team..etc.

I already miss Chris and he probably hasn't landed yet! Yesterday, Andre lied about his suspenders...I don't yell at him or anything, but he just lies about the dumbest things, and honestly, I just feel like I have alzheimers or something...I kindly got him to admit that he took them off and somehow twisted them, so we quickly fixed them, no bid deal, but with little things going awry every day, and "noone doing it", it's a recipe for crazy.

Did I tell you Jaclyn did well on the ACT..we're proud of her. Please pray for our kids so I don't need to take 7 in for penicillin. And, James through up yesterday from excessive coughing...ugh.

We'll it's 8:10 and all is quiet. I need to make sure the MP3 players are put away, and tuck in the girls for a busy school week. Hope to sleep in my bed tonight, not up with a coughing James wondering if he's ok.

Love from Alesia & Chris

PS..Katya made a very nummy pizza the other day, and we had a great day that day. So we can all get along somedays. If you want the best pizza, just invite yourself over, because we make it all the time, and I probably won't have the energy or guts to invite you over to our messy home! Hope it doesn't make you too hungry!

Ok..Polar Opposites...and a third factor...

Just the other day I had a realization - sometimes we joke "How can we really have yet another realization."....but we do!

It was during the time my heart went out to my friends in Ukraine because of the opposition they were getting because they were American (Thanks for praying..they had a GREAT court date and they should be coming home with him this month! Yeah God!). I remember some negative words about American's when we went. Sometimes I can understand, but for the most part, I wish most people's hearts would soften towards American's that are taking time off, vacation time, time without pay, to cross over the ocean and spend 2 months trying to bring home "new-older-babies"..that for some reason, they are "in love with" because they just want to help them, and add to their family....

Anyway, my realization came because I realized that to the extent that I was "in love" with my children, living off of adrenaline and the Holy Spirit to keep me excited to be there despite my children trying to bond with other parents, say disrespectful things about me in Ukranian, wanting to go live with different parents, being away from my own family for 2 weeks, all alone with kids that can basically not understand me....all the time wanting to be their mom, wanting to trust them, thinking they are so wonderful, loving, kind, funny, etc...let's say "positive infinity"....

During my positive infinity........they had "negative infinity"...not necessarily outwardly because it was the "honeymoon" period...but inwardly...."don't want to obey, don't tell the truth, do sneaky things, hate being with this family that has rules, need to "get out", spread lies about me, etc"......

Now....THANK-GOD...I'm not at one end of the number line, and they are not at the other....however....I wish I had saved up some of my "positive energy" for now, because, now the kids are coming around...but I'm nearing neutral...with I had started neutral...and went the same direction they did....

The Third factor......YOU...thank-you for keeping us in your prayers, reminding us of grace, reminding us of compassion....and forgiveness..and His goodness toward all of us. YOU are what makes the whole "equation" balance out....

Love from Alesia & Chris

PS...Jonathan's team won tonight 8-2....Jaclyn has the ACT tomorrow....I think a couple sisters made it right tonight, kids lied to me about stuff...I cried for awhile (all the little things added up)...just another normal day...off to Popp-it....

Love never fails....

Found a sweet thank-you  from Sophia today by my door. It said, Love Never Fails, in it! Sometimes all we need to keep going is a little appreciation.  I am having trouble with my blogger. Not sure why, but the typing doesn't show until after I have typed and move the mouse.  It is kind of a game to see how much I can type correctly without seeing it! Ha! Now it's working - yeah!

Well, it's 8:35pm, looks like Natasha might have the stomach flu...it hasn't started yet.   I need to clean the kitchen and get a couple notes out.  The type is going wacko again, but I think I understand why..if the pointer is outside the box all is well, if it's in, then I can't see the type!

We are all well, Katya sassed me and then said she was sorry, Natasha apologized for her disrespect today, and that's it for drama, so pretty good I'd say! I think we might start turning the corner, but each day holds unique challenges....but every day that we near "normal" childhood issues, it just feels better. Like the Walton's some days! : )

I'll write about "polar opposites" tomorrow...I think that is why adoption is so hard! Have a good night!

Love Alesia & Chris

Love..hope..it's what keeps us going....

I just heard stories from my dear friends in Ukraine who are trying to adopt after 1.5 years of caring in their hearts for a little boy, and now the people in charge of him are trying to get him to change his mind and go with a completely new family. They have travelled to see him, and communicated with him for a long time. Please pray for Randy & Kathy .....

I think about people who have lost loved ones and how sad this time of year can be.....

I think about all the broken relationships around us all the time, and then we have "Happy Valentines Day"....

My husband and I talk about how hard it is for us to get our "adoption first love" back even though the kids are great. They admit not being appreciative or even hating living with us at first, but now appreciative, but as parents, we are warn out and tired, it's hard to go back to how excited and loving we were....

I think hope is all we have sometimes, and when it feels like there isn't much to hope for, we just need to look around and see that there is more than we thought....

One day at a time....Alesia & Chris

Champions, Super Bowl...etc..

Jonathan's (center left) hockey team took first place-no injuries! First game 5-0. Second game up from behind, won with 45sec left in the game 3-2. Third game, tough game, but we had more energy at the end, 3-1.  We had a nice Superbowl party with Uncle Matt & Skyelore, even though Uncle Matt didn't do his 20 pushups  for losing the bet of who'd win. Jonathan was happy with the Giants!

Kids had a fun night. All is well..

Love Alesia & Chris

Thawing in February...

It's a sign of spring around there...the outdoor rinks are turning to slush (unless they are refigerated)....

Our pots of weeping willows are starting to show green leaves, next to my poinsetta's...wondering what to do with them!

I walked the dog...used to walk him every day all winter but didn't have the heart this winter....this winter felt more like survival for me...I am looking forward to Spring.

Chris is doing well at work, I'm hanging in there with school, Katya is sporting A's in her first couple weeks of school so happy about that, and she's been crushing me at checkers.  Jaclyn had a nice violin concert at an assisted living home.  Sophia is sick with a cough, and doing well emotionally.  Natasha is like a yo-yo..UP/down..etc. and still gives lots of hugs, and makes us laugh. Jonathan is doing well at hockey, and needs to work on his "anger management" and he keeps us laughing.  Andre is getting better at reading, and does his school work (too quickly!) every day! James is getting better at reading and takes WAY TOO LONG on his homework. We've played scrabble, 500, and cribbage in the last week.

Kids are playing NHL Monopoly right now...Katya and I will play some Popp-it (Aeecha & Katusha2) on Pogo, and Sophia & Jaclyn are at piano. A night of cleaning and Sam's Club for our family.

Jonathan has a hockey tournament this weekend...and the other kids will have hockey as well, so just one more of those fun weekends. Games at home and on the ice....and GO Giants (says Jonathan). We'll have a quiet family Superbowl night : ) YEAH!!  As Katya says "Everything's always the same."  We laugh about it now...I guess that's what stability is all about!

Love from Alesia & Chris....