Philadelphia!

Dear friends & family...

Occasionally I want to update links, etc. on our page.

This weekend Chris and I are in Phili enjoying some time together when he is at a conference. I wanted to add WALLBUILDERS to our page, so thought I would say hi from here as well!

We had 3 families, & 3 separate drivers take care of the kids while we were gone! But it has been WONDERFUL. I miss everyone, but Chris and I feel like we're on honeymoon a little...

Katya - 16, is looking forward to adventures & clubs in school, driving soon, and a trip to Costa Rica with her choir at school. She has been a book worm this summer, and resting up for another school year.

Jaclyn - 14, is finishing up some subjects from last year, looking forward to possibly her last year at homeschool before PSEO on Northwestern campus. She still does lots of music and hockey.

Sophia - 13, will be in school in 7th grade for at least half days, unless she is ready for more. She played softball, and will be in soccer this fall. She loves to crochet, and play games.

Natasha - 12, is excited about school, played softball & soccer this fall. She will be in 6th grade full time. She likes to play volleyball outside with Katya, go to her friends & see their puppies, and play games.

Jonathan - 11, is hooked on baseball stats,  plays baseball, hockey, and soccer this fall. He is not excited to start school, but will get into the swing of things. He likes to play games with his siblings too.

Andre - 9, played baseball, is in football, and will be in hockey this fall. He is doing well, he is a good helper. He is slowly starting to read. He is always a happy little guy. He loves to play games.

James - 9, played baseball, is in football, and is trying goalie this year for hockey. So far so good. He is really starting to read.  He a quiet imaginative boy, with lots of smiles. He loves to play games too.

Chris & I are fine...we have lots of clean up to do on our new home, outdoors, and in our garage. Recently, Chris shampoo'd our carpets, so I'm slowly getting rid of the clutter (that he stacked in our bathroom so our bedroom was cleaner)..and that feels great! I am relaxing after 2 years of a new family life, so feel as though I can "dig in" more around the home a bit, despite spending a lot of time in the car driving too and fro.

God bless your 2012/13 School year! With love, Alesia & Chris

The End....

The Blog is over. I think many are reading it, but wondering if we'll survive.........we will.

Some are reading it for information, like one of our Grandma's...don't worry well keep sending you photo's on your e-mail.

Some of you read it to check up on us and pray, thank-you! I trust that the Lord will lay us on your heart when we need prayer the most.

Most of you have our e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and address, so stop buy, call or e-mail and ask us anything, anytime! God Bless you and your friends! The blog will sit here, unedited for however long, in case others want to read about all our interesting happenings.

Love from Alesia & Chris

You are my friends..........

John 15:14

from the mouth of Jesus, to his disciples upon questions of where he is going, he told them many things, upon which.....

"You are My friends if you do whatever I command you."   It was the verse Andre decided to read to me, since he just learning how to read at age 9, he needs to pick 2 verses he understands, read them and tell me what they mean...when he read it; instantly a gift was given, a load lifted, and the tears came...I said he didn't need to explain...and it was all a very special sweet moment....

I have uploaded a couple photos from last Fall, first day of school, and have it as a reminder of how much has changed in one year...it was a long year with Dad dying, and for many other reasons, and it really shows...I hope to put it back together over the summer and coming months with His help...one day at a time...

Here a few photos from the weekend....Sophia had a softball tourny, some great hits, and it was fun even at the bottom end of it, and Natasha had a win at her softball scrimmage, Andre had a win today for his 3on3 and they passed the puck nicely and I think he had 4 in the net, and Jonathan's team won their 3on3 championship, and had a great time as well. Katya is working on getting jobs, and is looking forward to school being done. James is doing well, collecting plants, and Jaclyn had a nice time at her recognition ceremony for high ACT scores.

Taking back the land...

 Below is a poor excuse for a garden, can you strain your eyes to see 3 little lighter green thumb shaped plants (bigger than some), opening in a Y? They are watermelon. We have a little tiny garden growing in our front bed as it's the only area in the sun that has soil for a garden (not good soil yet). And as you can tell, I need to weed. Between, school, watering, mowing, and raking up old sticks & leaves in spots, I forget to weed....the bigger greener weed in the middle is a wild violet (I have many), and that one needs to go! The bush lower left will stay for awhile. It's not food though. We have onions, beets, carrots, beans, cucumbers, and watermelon, but some are not coming up very well, so we'll see.

See the pretty bushes? They were here before we moved in, I just cleaned up all the gunk (lots of it) around them and planted impatiens & coleus in this shady spot. Hope they take well, and look nice in a few weeks.


  Lastly, our hosta's. We have a lot of them, all over, in the weeds, little ones, big ones, and I hope to move them all before we "remodel the land"...which Chris hopes to take a bulldozer through and do an overhaul.

We have a back patio over grown and junky, and I hope to clean it up nice, and put all the hosta's I find around the perimeter of it.

Taking back the land is hard when it's full of thistles, buck thorn, old dog bones (not from our dog), sticks, trash and all of it. Just like our lives when they are full of sin, it's hard to let God regain control of them, and weed them and fertilize our soil. But one day and rocky area at a time He can do it!

2 hockey 3on3 games, Softball tourney, Softball scrimmage, and an Academic luncheon planned for this weekend. Hope to squeeze some quiet reading time in before the week starts in again. Katya is done with school on Tue, and was saying something about working at Taco Bell. I thought she had planned on working at a nursing home. We'll see what happens.

Love from Alesia & Chris

Memorial Day...

Yesterday was a vacation day, a day to remember our veterans.... didn't know about our neighborhood parade, but hope to go next year at 9am!

Made pancakes but forgot the big container of syrup at Grandma's....so we made some...they were liked by almost all...

We moved hostas...it was fun and is looking nice! Chris chopped wood, and helped a man with his Sprinter for a few hours. I napped - yeah!

Later we headed up to the pine city to fish a little and help with an an awning, but it was "stormy" up there, inside and outside of the cabin. So, we headed back. And then we headed to softball, photo's above...Sophia & I hit home runs...it was fun.

Almost all of us joined in, and it was a lot of un for about 30 minutes until competition and bad attitudes set in so we headed home. I decided to move some more hostas.............

It was kind of one of those "off" days, and for me, it was good as I stayed joyful and calm in the storm.  I think Chris has more understanding for my hard days, after spending more time around the kids.

We are off to a new day of school today, and Jonathan got up early and did all his homework early! I think he wants to get outside....some are still in bed, and some are just eating....have a great week back at it.

Love Alesia & Chris

Good Sermon, Grateful Sons, Grandma

Had a great sermon today, on lying, up at Grandma's church. It's just a reminder to me that we have an advocate, in our Lord and Savior and that there is no need for us to retaliate, as "vindication is mine, says the Lord". He will protect and care for us and our loved ones, and we need not take on the world.

I explained to a couple children that one of the hardest things in life is when you try to do your best honestly, and truthfully, with pure motives, and the recipients deliberately (or unknowingly) try to counter with so many blows. It's the biggest injustice. I think some understood it.

I learned some disturbing news this weekend about one of my children spreading falsehood and I am wondering how to handle it. I can handle the sadness of one spreading falsehood about me, but they are representing themselves falsely.  That can lead to more and more shame and lying with time, how timely our sermon was today.

I had a nice couple days with Grandma and cried upon leaving. I have such wholesome memories of Dad & Mom, and it's so hard to just see Dad's boat, the fish house, etc. some days, even though Mom is doing great and I am so proud of her. Just last year, it was a special get away with Chris & I and Mom and Dad for our anniversary, and this year(felt like 10 to Chris & I), we bombarded her with 9 of us. I hope she is recovering.

We headed home today and finished the day with the League of Grateful Sons, by Vision Forum in honor of Memorial Day. We highly recommend it. In the day of the Wii, we forget about WII, in the day of Lego StarWars, we forget the stars of our wars, in the day of facebook, we forget the Faces in the books of history that make our every day freedoms a reality....

We learned the definition of truth today - that which pertains to reality....that pretty much sums it up. We live in a fantasy, electronic world...and forget the reality of those before us that make our lives richer today. I am enjoying my John & Abigail Adams book, and a little Jane Eyre on the side...and His word to keep me grounded in the TRUTH, and I still have a long ways to go with all the lies the enemy sends our ways each day.

May His reality seep into your heart today, touch you, heal you, and bring you closer to the truth in Him...

Love Alesia & Chris

Katya's 16th Birthday

Today is Katya's birthday, and her science class is going to Valleyfair so I think that worked out pretty nicely. She had her hair cut at the salon yesterday, and sang in her school choir. She'll have cheese cake for supper, and lunch out with Grandma on Sat. So not much else planned and don't really have her wish list yet. She hopes to spend some time with a friend some weekend. Hope to update with more photos after the weekend.

Here are a couple more photos from Jaclyn's wish list...ice cream at Nelson's before a violin concert.
Have a good Memorial Day weekend, Alesia & Chris

Diligence & Laziness

The kids are writing 5 pages on diligence or laziness, whether it be copying or from their heads. Yesterday I had 1 hour of work for them to do and all were lazy at one time or another...it was just picking up sticks and rocks in our yard, and you'd think they had to write 5 pages or something!!! Anyway, I challenged them to think on their own for awhile if they are not too lazy. This is the best our 10 year old can come up with so far..he's still working but at lunch,

It is bad to be lazy, because then you learn to be lazy and you'll be lazy when you grow up. It is good to be diligent because then you learn good habits, then when you grow up you will be diligent. When you are diligent and you work hard, and you will do better in life. When you are lazy you will not work hard and you will lose out on jobs. People will not like to be around you. You will not do good in life.

Some verses from the Bible:

Because of laziness, the building decays, and through idleness of hands, the house leaks. Ecc 10:18
The hand of the diligent will rule, but the lazy man will be put to forced labor. Prov 12:24
But his Lord answered and said to him, you wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. Matthew 25:26
He who gathers in summer is a wise man; He who sleeps in the harvest is a son who causes shame. Prov 10:5

Go to the ant....you sluggard......

In case you struggle with laziness in your home, or family..it's going to be a long day around here today...

Love Alesia & Chris

Happy Birthday Jaclyn

It's Jaclyn's14th birthday and she just had a few little requests...Lego Star Wars computer game (which happens to over heat my lap top!), shopping with Mom in the morning for fabric & the computer game, and ice cream at Nelson's. We had an early start so even when we were ready for ice cream, we were too early, but we'll take her tonight after her little violin stint with a choir. We baked a cake too.

Katya is busy organizing and delivering her fund raisers, and getting good grades. Sophia is playing softball and loving it. Natasha is also playing softball and loving it, and is doing well. Jonathan is in baseball, some hockey, and having fun with his brothers. Andre & James are playing baseball and having fun with that. All are doing well, and plugging away at school.

Chris had walking pneumonia or some virus/lung bug this week and even fainted at one point from dehydration! It was a 911 call - stop - we're ok moment...I dialed and talked, but we decided to wait as he came-to, and crawled to the couch, drank, sweated, and slept a lot. He is at about 80%, but tires easily after exertion.

I am starting to get my 2nd wind in the summer, mowing a bit, watching our seeds grow, watering and keeping up with the kids. It's almost like I'm getting geared up for school this summer...so might as well go with it. It was HOT today, so I did a few things outside after shopping/lunch, and now we're watching hockey and playing computer in the basement while Chris rested from taking the kids to ball this morning and playing with the boys.

It's cool down here and we don't have our air on yet. It's a pretty relaxed day despite loads of laundry, and misc. chores we need to do...we don't usually use the computer much, so it does really keep the kids busy. I think it's been 2-3 months since we've had "computer time"...so GO NY RANGERS! And we'll keep you "posted" in the future!

Love from Alesia & Chris

Garden, Clean home, Softball, School ?

We had 3 goals today (that's something that has been missing from our day - goals!):
     1) plant a garden/seeds, 2) Clean our home, 3) Cook for company tonight...and we did it! We planted a little garden all around our front porch, I hope they seeds take and we get carrots, beans, cucumbers, beets, watermelon, & onions!!! And we planted some seeds in cups for peppers, roses, and daisies. It will be a small but fun harvest. The kids helped clean the screened in porch & laundry room (YEAH!), and we cooked. But I was crabby at points and that is the hard part for me.

We had company over and heard some really encouraging stories of how they are sharing Christ and descipling young ones in criminal detention centers for youth, and how they are sharing the Lord with their whole families. It's always such a blessing to hear them talk about their lives with us. They are such an encouragement. The kids were a bit crazy running around playing tag and being loud, but were having fun together.

Sophia had softball today, and loves it. I am really happy for her, as I remember how much fun it was when I played. Her team is really casual and fun, so that is real blessing for her.  Katya made borsch! Num.

I just sent in a question to our homeschool group, "when if ever should you send your child to school", and then I went to Dorothy's (Urban Servant) blog, and saw pictures of her children at the Mall of America's MN's aquarium, and thought, I bet she doesn't even go there to that question. If I read her blog more, I might feel homeschooling encouragement (she has 11, and many of them have multiple disorders - wow!).

Andre pulled an all boy trick today and relieved himself in plain view of the girls..."We didn't see anything Mom"..."I would have wet my pants"...."I told him not to" (from the 10 yr old boy)...girls didn't say anything...UGHHH double UGGH, gross, things like this drive me crazy, and well, he was disciplined with with solidarity for awhile, and we'll be revisiting appropriate behavior for awhile. And we played cards tonight, and he stacked the deck and lied about it too. I have suspected FAS with him, but we haven't had him tested. He knows the difference between right and wrong, but doesn't care at the time. He will show remorse.

I feel as while some are going to grow in Christ, some are going to push all my buttons and try to disprove my faith! Sophia gave me a ring with "Faith" on it. I hope to wear it more, but I'm too chubby right now....triple UGHH...

Chris gets home from a 2 night stint in Alabama...YEAH!

Love from Alesia & Chris

Skating Show, Gardening,

Sophia & Natasha had their skating show! Yeah! It was great and Peter the man behind them, did 2 numbers one of which was a duo with Rita that was amazing! The girls had a great time.

The rest of us have been doing yard work, enjoying a somewhat quiet weekend with 2 skating shows & 2 hockey games, and 1 baseball practice. We just love it when it all works out so we can go to church and then to Sam's club after.

Andre & I planted some beautiful flowers in our yard - impatiens & coleus, and amidst all the weeds were about 5 beautiful perennials. I did push the mower a bit and need to do that a few times tomorrow & Tue. I like being outside after being a winter slug butt.

Tomorrow is our last day of phy-ed. We will have our last day of praise dance on Tue, and piano is coming to an end. That means that there will be more time for school, which we have needed. I have decided to give high scorers on tests the summer off, but those who "need improvement" will get extra time and lessons in the summer. We just need to keep the routine and steady growth in math & reading.

Sophia starts softball tomorrow.

Todays message at church was on our words..."death or life" is in them, what will we choose?

Prov 18: 21 "Death & life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat it's fruit."

Choose Life! Love Alesia & Chris

After the show, we had dessert and the kids had fun playing with these sticky ball things...that even stuck to the ceiling. It was a fun night, but, Friday, I was pretty tired out!  I always feel refreshed by Sunday night/Monday though! Thank- God for those small favors that keep us going.

PS..hope you were able to see the baby blue herons! Check out the link on my page. Fun to watch how they parent! The kids are getting a kick out of it.

 

Twice Adopted...

Recently Sophia shared that she gave her heart to our Lord, and today after our evangelism tour at a friend's church, Natasha said she wanted to know Jesus that way too. She has read her little tract that they gave her about 3 times and hugged me (fiercely), and is "so excited", to tears...all very geniune. I am really grateful for God's people being there at all the right places and times when we need them most! I am grateful that my friends invited me to their church just down the road, and hope I can go some Wed night for a "refresher course"!  Even with the ups and downs after our girls coming to the Lord, I am looking forward to some more peaceful days ahead!! Thank-you Lord.

Twice Adopted, and Hurt Children/Healing Homes are two books I would like to read.

The boys are just chitter chattering about Star Wars in their bedrooms, the girls are quiet, and Chris and I quietly eating pistachios. The ban lifted on our fires, so I tried to burn a pile of brush today, and for whatever reason, it just wouldn't go (even with paint thinner!), so I'll leave it for a couple of weeks and try again later. Maybe too wet from the rain last night.

The girls did some baking today, which was a blessing to them, and all of us as we ate their dessert for supper.

I did have a hard day today..not sure why, as I was outside a lot, etc. Sometimes I'm just painfully aware of heart issues in my children, and I just want to scream it out of them! Today, I tried to explain it to Andre, it's like someone is about to eat poison and I need to stop them...some times I react just like that..and then anxiety takes over...

Evangelicals going to church every day???? I know some faiths go to church every day....and lately, I could really get used to that. Listen to some great preaching, sing some awesome worship songs and rest in His presence...it would be just what the doctor ordered, but we don't have that "official" place to go.  No reason we can't go there at home. We do read Bible every day, and I need to change it up a bit so I'm reading a lot, and then we're reading it together...and I do put Pandora Hymns on and sing along, but sometimes I wish it was just a bit more...

Hope that as hearts learn to settle and rest in the Lord, we'll invite His presence at home more....some days it's definitely the opposite around here!

Our neighbor had a tragedy at her home this week, and our hearts go out to her, and we are looking forward to seeing her when all the dust settles. Life can be so fragile, explosive, hard, and even evil at times. May His grace abound to them at this difficult time.

1st Cor 13: 4 "Love suffers long and is kind.", Eph 4: 22 "radically amputate the sin in your life"..paraphrased from the pastor at our talks this week!

Love from Alesia & Chris

Quiet Peaceful Day...

I guess that is what you can call it since I spent most of it in the car driving here and there.....

Chris took the girls to their skating, while I took Jonathan to his 9:45am game (5-5..he put a beauty shot in from the blue line...played D, not his favorite, and he thought he was -1, I thought he was neutral). Girls had 2 hours of ice time today.

I took Jaclyn to her piano contest/exam, and she said that went well. Chris and the little boys went up to the cabin quick to fix the dock. Jaclyn played a new game with Sophia & Natasha.  Jonathan and I watched hockey on TV. Katya studied, facebooked, and showered early so I could braid her hair.

Chris and the boys had baseball. I took Jonathan to his scrimmage, 1 wrap-around goal, and 1 assist...

It was very peaceful, because I have been at distance from a couple of girls, and for some reason that adds to the peace and quiet; there is no drama, manipulation, sass, exaggeration, interruptions if there is no "connection".  Probably not the best way to be, but it's definitely better than tirades.  My friend offered to take them any time because they were so good and helpful (typical attachment disorder behavior), and I am more than ready for them to go as often as she needs. Glad they can be of help and have made a good friend!   Maybe we can keep this relationship going for a few years until the disrespect, sass, tirades, and deception quit and we can actually get along again!  I am truly sorry, but Friday really put me over the edge.

There were some side spats today, but all in all it was just a calm, neutral day, and I could use about 100 more of those.

Plan to attend (with most of the family) an evangelism meeting at a friends church tomorrow night and Wed. Should prove to be refreshing. I am so grateful for these opportunities.

I am still very frustrated about a few things and need to explore some options, as I can't live the way things have been going for much longer.....hope to read a few articles at the new website I posted...Center for Cognitive Developmental remediation-something something. It has some helpful tips for post orphange behavior. I really just need some clear direction. I plan to start asking around, the school, etc. It would be almost perfect if some of the kids could go to summer school, and return for HomeSchool, but I think they need them to be enrolled in the Fall, and I get closer to this every day, unfortunately. I want a healthy homeschool, but now with all the drama, interruptions, sass, laziness, deceptive behavior even in reading and math, it's all so ugly and frustrating...pretending to not understand, asking lazy questions, trying to get people upset..it's so babyish and frankly, I really just want to help our children learn..not just baby sit them all day...

Anyway...need to stop thinking about it for awhile, unfortunatetly, tomorrow is Monday, and in some ways I am really dreading it...but I don't plan on crying or cringing my way through it, will just help those interested in learning and respecting others....or even reading and studying quietly...and hope that I will have a good school day with some of the crew.
Hoping for more neutral days, Alesia and Chris

Tirade? 24 hours? Jonathan "boy sitting"?

Not sure what to even write about...other than to say Friday was horrible due to a tirade after I confronted somone on their behavior.  She struggles with gossip, then turns it all around and says someone else is saying it, all the while, acting rudely, mopey and unkind. When we finally get to the bottom of it, she started the whole thing. This has happened other times, and when she has been confronted on an issue, she has first denied it, then shifted blame, and then moved into a whole hearted, loud, screaming tirade about what horrible mother I am, that I don't love her, that she is not my child, that I am not a Christrian, and about 10 minutes of telling me how bad I am, and then, a quick I'm sorry and all they really need is my love, true that she needs my love, and probably a learned mechanism from such a horrible life, and I should have compassion....and usually this is a sting that only lasts a couple of days, and then is gone....

But for some reason, this time, it just feels like there was a little nerve damage....anyway, a couple of children spent time at a friend's farm, which was probably a reward for them, but I guess we need to do what we need to do....

I had 24 hours with a couple girls, my brother and 2 of his children. We had some nice talks, and laughes in the car and put together the dock. I did have trouble sleeping, but am trying the special breathing technique my niece told me about! The best part was 24 hours with no drama!  The girls had fun with their cousins, uncle & grandma.

Jonathan and the boys got home today from fishing, and he was put in charge of the 2 little ones. I did get a phone call from a couple of upset boys, but they worked it out...with the help of "The Black Stallion" on CD rom! I'm going to look up the legal limit for a 10 year old to babysit, and bet we pushed a little close.

I didn't return home til, late, and Chris is still out. Tomorrow we have 4 ice times amongst children, and 1 piano contest.  We'll all have to gather around the computer and hear our pastor's talk on sex tomorrow afternoon.  The boys might want to finish "The Black Stallion"!

I'm really not doing that well...each moment is a chance for me to think twice about a few things and what is the best way to handle them. His Word is lamp unto my feet, even if it means one step at a time.

Love from Alesia & Chris

Clarity in the Clouds....Freedom in the Fog?

I remember the last time we drove in the fog. It was on an evening after Jaclyn's end of the year hockey party when she was 10. We were driving to Florida, and headed East through Wisconsin. We were probably 30 minutes into the drive when the fog started. When we went into valleys there would be fog, then on the way out of the valley it would clear. And later it was almost constant. Chris driving, and I was very tired, but couldn't sleep well, because of the fog, and the lack of clarity......if you can remember that feeling of driving in this, it is very tense and your whole body is focused, but you can't see in front of you very far.....

That's how I would describe the last few weeks....and even a 2 hour drive in fog is hard to sustain, so having it come an go over a couple weeks can really wreak havoc on the nerves. And none of these things are "blow up" proportion, but when they come at you more frequently that you are able to fend them off, they seem much bigger collectively.

We had a cardinal nest near our window and she had chicks, and they were so fun to watch, and then they were gone? What happened?...."I rrrrron't know" A rolled tongue on a word that doesn't have an R for attention, or to cover up lying?...I don't know really myself. "I did hit the tree with a stick once because I forgot." "Ok, I did hit it again because I forgot".....................fog............still haven't heard the real story on that one.....I keep hoping they flew away.

We had 12 bagels...gone quickly, no one knows where they went but 3 people ate them, and things don't add up.................fog...

I ask one to put away her book...later; Did you put it away? "Ya"....and sometimes accompanied by cracking of knuckles....why is lying so attractive???? FOG...Did you just lie? "Ya"...Go put away the book. I am supposed to celebrate that they told me the truth, while I'm just reeling inside....I can't handle even a stretch of the truth...it's just FOG to me....

We have some great ideas for PSEO in a little over a year for Jaclyn..........fog clears!

We asked our top algebra daughter just a couple of questions from the kids math, and the answers seemed foggy to me......not what I would have expected....it didn't measure up from one who is getting such good grades in Algebra....how can that be? And I have rarely seen that book opened at home.

The coffee pot broke after someone tried to make coffee....but know one knows how....

I came home from a homeschool talent show at a nursing home where this one family, danced, sang and juggled for the Lord, their love for Him shines, and our girls dances to praise music, and I just couldn't stop smiling for awhile..."What wrong with you, and that fake smile" came a comment to me! I was so full of Him, that day it was finally bubbling out, and then drama comments like that....more FOG!!  I gently explained that I had a wonderful afternoon and was really full and happy from it....some clarity, but the sting is still there..

It seems like more often than not, A does not = A around here, but B....and usually it doesn't take long for it to = B^2 (that's squared)............

And when I can divert my attention to something true, unaltered, and real, the fog clears, but when I'm immersed in the drama, lying, foolish talk, mis-understandings, sass, etc,  it's like I'm navigating with all intensity in the fog. Yes, I'm disciplining for all of it, swiftly, but sometimes, it is so sly, or strange, I just can't even put my finger on it.

Last night, I did put up a few screens, Jaclyn worked energetically on her finance test. The other girls watched a movie and came up to bed quietly after. They had cleaned their bathroom, window sills and put up their screens as well! All was quiet....but that was after a day of drama....

Some times kids will make these sly, judgemental comments, sometimes during Bible, but then when you ask about it, they look away, or can't speak...it's just another things that needs correction, but it makes me wonder where their heart is at. Here's one "Why do people talk about Chineese"....well, I have been with this person more than most in the last 2 years, and we never talk about Chineese, so I confronted...maybe people from your past did, but have you heard anyone in the last 2 years do this? "Uh, no..but books do, like this one" it was from her sister's HISTORY book!  So why the fascination with Chineese? She looks away, can't talk about it, etc....FOG!

The boys are doing well as far as I have heard! No fish yet.

Anyway, picture driving in the fog, and maybe you'll understand how it is around here....with - thank God- moments of clarity along the way....like the walk today in the woods. Hope to keep that up for awhile! And will try to "drive the home" like Chris..with nerves of steel! If I have nerves of steel, I'll pull us out of the fog and into the clear....but for a mom with all those feelings it can be hard at times!

We'll be heading up to Mom's to get her dock in with my brother. Should be some "real" times of clarity for me! Hope she can handle any "fog" that comes her way!

Love Alesia & Chris

The coffee pot is broken..again!

I asked Natasha if she could clean up her room before school...and I mentioned something about if she knew how to make coffee, and then I said "no, just clean your room, I'll make the coffee", well I came up and she was trying to make it for me...sweet...but too much water and I think she shorted it out, the same thing happened to our old (3+ years) pot about 1 month ago.

Unmatched, neatly folded socks....
Mold in the windows...
The boys headed up fishing without life jackets..hope theypicked them up at the cabin...
Sophia said "It's borning"....because she can't quite speak English correctly, and she is incapable of spending time alone...needs to have someone at her side a lot. RAD, I think....and unfortunately, for the amount of time she needs with someone, there are days I feel that I need double away from people...
Woke up in the middle of the night (good time to pray..when it's hard to fall asleep!), and then at about 6ish with my heart pounding..and then later, the anxiety passed.

Some are wondering what movies they can watch, what kind of "vacation" we're going to have with the boys gone, and I'm trying to think of what we can get done...boys room organized, a few screens on, some sewing done...etc...ugh...

Well, needed to vent while making tea since the coffee pot was broken. We're going down to draw a diagram on the relationship between the sun, moon, and earth and how it works, since I tried explaining last night to Natasha, but she just laughed and giggled and said she understood, all the while asking nonsensicle (is that a word) questions....

But I did walk today, and met a woman walking and she thinks our girls are "so sweet"...and I cried my way home a little and tried to pull it together for the day...

Alesia

A path in the woods....and a Holiday

Prov 24: 10  "If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small."

I guess it's not my time to give up yet! Although there are days. I can talk about yesterday like it's some far away thing, but during it, it is horrible. If someone asked me how I was doing , I'd answer somewhere between "FINE!"...and let me just start crying...someone showed kindness to me yesterday, and I just started crying! And then just like that, snap, the cloud lifted...

I don't remember exactly when, about 5:00pm yesterday when the cloud lifted...Jaclyn, James and I headed to her violin and James needed to finish his test. It was just that simple, the cloud lifted. I will never doubt people have anxieties in this life..or depression, but I knew in the fog I needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other..I didn't doing it joyfully, but I did it! I did the job....and I'm sure some people have days like that as well.......

Anyway, I put one foot in front of the other early this morning on the path in the woods. I chose the shorter path as it was my first time, and it was about 6ish, and the new light of the day was barely coming out, very peaceful. I hope to take the longer trail another time. I have known of this trail for a long time, yet haven't tried it, and am so glad to have found it.

I had a nice rest of the evening with friends, and a much better start of the day for me...not so good for a few children who chose sassiness,disrespect, control and laziness for their morning fare.

We are off to a good start now. We'll all be attending the girls praise dancing this afternoon, as quiet observers. Math, Bible, instruments, chores and some outdoor time was the big achievement for today, and a trip to the library later to return some books.

The girls and boys will be having a much needed holiday from each other for a few days! We're looking forward to some peace and quiet, and I'm sure the boys are looking forward to worms and fishing. I could use some peace and quiet and fishing myself, but not sure when my "ship" will come in for that one!  Afraid I"ll just cry the whole time anyway in memory of Dad....

Prov 25:28 Whoever has no rule over his own spirit, or heart, is like a city broken down without walls. (Leaving itself open to the enemy..interpretation by a wise student this morning)..

God's riches blessings on your day.  Love Alesia & Chris

Messed up....

I talked with a friend who recently adopted and went to the urgent care with anxiety, and was put on medicine. I remember those days, breathing deep, crying all the time, inhaling/exhaling, waking up and it was hard to breath....

I had one of those even last night. We have come a long way, but some days are just harder than others....and I have chosen not to take medicine, but I probably should take it! So I just slam cabinet doors or scream. I haven't done this for a long time, (at least since we moved in a year ago), but the other day I slammed a cabinet door, and it broke.   My husband picked 1am to talk to me about it...not really the coolest thing....

I had said a long time ago, if we're not a team, then I really don't have much to look forward to....

I guess I still have hockey games, some good books, and the dog to walk. In some ways I have quit today...it's a balance between scrunching up my eyebrows or crying, and I don't have much to say to my kids...they did get an egg breakfast (that means I didn't sleep in forever like some days). The kids have lots of activities we can bounce back and forth from today with the praise music going, so that helps.

It's hard to be a quitter....it's easier to do our day cheerfully, but for some reason I just can't today. I'm having a hard time hearing the sounds of the kids voices, and even looking at my children. Chris says I should find someone to talk to (because I'm so messed up)...so I guess you're the audience! I know there are others out there like this, that struggle from time to time...

The kids are good, the boys are finishing their tests this morning, the girls are having trouble finding something quiet to do, guess I should go braid their hair for their praise dancing today, would like to walk the dog, but that won't happen for awhile...

It's just me that is "messed up"...

Alesia

Simplexity...

Our pastor is preaching this month on "Simplexity". Simple truths for a complex world. You can access his sermons by going to the Grace Church of Roseville website on this blog page. He is speaking from the book of Proverbs...

I read this proverb to Jonathan one time (or had him read it to me) after we had a tough time leaving the house for one of his hockey games...

Prov 15:1-go as far you like...."A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.  A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. A fool despises his father's instructions, but he who receives correction is prudent........

It goes on to talk about a merry heart, a wise son, a good report, and other great advise for living....

We're so grateful for Sophia's new found love for our Lord...she has proclaimed Him to a few people and her love and joy is spilling out to others in our family! We are very blessed. And she is grateful and blessed as well.

Jaclyn and Jonathan had a fun weekend touring a college campus with Chris, Katya is at 98% in her algebra class, testing is going much better for the kids this year, but Andre still needs a lot of work in reading and focus. We may need some special testing for him someday, but want to wait a little and see if our Lord will soften his heart as well, and maybe he'll find ways to calm down. He still struggles with focus and  truthfullness, and random acts of "violence" to nature and such.

Sophia & Natasha have a skating show in a couple of weeks, the girls also have a tambourine show this week at a couple of nursing homes. They love watching it. A few of us had a lot of fun bagging rice for our our church work day yesterday (8000lbs! in to little 1lb bags). And played a lot of 500 this weekend much to the kids joy. Even though there were a few illegal plays, and questions about what is a club or a spade, we made it through.

Jonathan had 2 ice times today, one was a game (L6-3) an he was -3(he thinks) against a tougher team one level up, and then a great skills program in the evening in which he did pretty good, and came off the ice really happy. The little boys had baseball tonight, and the girls had practice for their show.

We are grateful for good days, and thank you always for your love, understanding, and prayers! As our life gets easier, please, don't hesitate to ask us for help!

Love Alesia & Chris

Johnny's Journal, Strange comments, Sweet Moments...

I was able to sneak away again tonight for, you got it, more hockey. Jonathan loved his WASH training tonight. On the way there he asked if he could do a blog, most likely an up-to-date day by day sports stat's blog! I said yes. Johny's Journal...we haven't started yet, but should be fun!

I heard a couple strange comments. One was about how the Dugger family who thinks you should wait until you are married to kiss... I can definitely imagine that someone aspiring to this in this 21'st century would be considered strange, but what's wrong with aspiring to that as an ideal. Just think of how excited that couple will be on their wedding night! WOW! If you have the time, go to the PanCratz blog from my blog and see how one of her daughters did this! What a wonderful testimony to purity in marriage.  I also heard someone say that Katya's mom will let her wear that skirt because it goes to her knees, in a very strange way. I wish they could have been there when Katya herself was talking about someone's skirt at a violin concert, and how it was almost showing her under's and that it wasn't appropriate. I have never told Katya she can't wear a mini skirt, but I am blessed that she chooses not to.  It's just interesting how different things can get twisted to try to make someone look bad, when all they are trying to do is live and encourage their children to live a wholesome life.

Sweet Moments....were had today. We watched RADIO, I strongly, can't say enough, really think everyone should see it, based on a true story of James Robert Kennedy, about what it means to care for someone that most people just over look.  After watching it, I really didn't want to talk to anyone, had a few things on my mind, mostly suspicions, and mistrust about a few things, and was ready to head out to hockey...and a daughter came to me and started talking.  Then, she said she prayed last night, about (lots of stuff!), and cried, and it was hard, and she read John 1 & 2, and she said she really needs to trust God, that He'll be there for her. She was crying when she was telling me and I was crying too, and I am so grateful for His good work.

I am always wondering what is around the corner because it seems with every good work from Jesus, there is a counter measure somewhere else, but for tonight, I am greatly encouraged, blessed, and grateful.

To Him be the glory, Love Alesia & Chris

Anxiety, Mache, Missions...and a stray dog.

We went to our annual homeschooling conference, MACHE, this past Friday, thanks to Mima & Papa watching the 2 little boys on Friday, and Katya watching them on Sat. All went well! Both mornings were like pulling teeth before we went, with meltdown upon meltdown (sorry, including my own!), but by lunch kids looked happy again. We had lunch in the car, and below are photos of the kids after Day 1 & Day 2. It is always such an encouragement for our family, school, and faith in Christ to go to these conferences. I think I'll go the rest of my life, whether or not I'm still homeschooling!

Day 1

I have a friend who is struggling with anxiety in the first couple months of their adoption. I can't over emphasize that this anxiety is real. I'd be embarrassed now to share the level of anxiety and all my coping ways in the first year+, and some days I still feel it. I have learned much from my husband, that swift quick discipline, and boundaries help. And it has helped that our children are starting to feel permanently loved, but at first everything is a power struggle, etc. So if you think of it, pray for my friend's anxiety to lift. It is nothing God is not familiar with, but it is so hard the same. Fast breathing, not eating or eating too much, not sleeping, frantic, etc, and no words of encouragement seem to even help....it's just very hard for people to understand. It tips your family upside down for a long time and then it comes around and is very beautiful.

I liken it to missions...I imagine that when missionaries start their post in Africa, or Thailand, or India after coming from the comforts of home, for 2-3 year they might experience this. At first they are full of God's love for everyone, and then they realize they might need to sleep with insects, or fight dysentery, or live out of exhaustion, etc. and then the permanency of it sets in, and I imagine they have levels of anxiety, new languages, different food, sicknesses, and how to cope, but somehow God meets us here where we need Him most and ministers.

Pray for Him to minister to my friends, and comfort them with peace, and calm their hearts.

We had a stray dog the other day.  He didn't want anyone to touch him, came inside with Chance, and back out, and played and played with him. He was wary, but once he figured out we liked him, he just came for more and more attention. When we rested a bit, and Chance laid down, he just couldn't. He paced and paced, inside and out. We have learned that his owners do not take good care of him, leave poop all over their yard, and maybe hit him from how he flinches. He is restless.  I comlaidpare that to children who have had to survive most of their growing up years. When they find someone who loves them, then they can't get enough, they find it hard to settle down and rest, they are always scared for many years after feeling safe. They are restless, this can be hard for a caregiver, and can add to anxiety levels.

We implemented earlier bed times, and everyone seemed to benefit from it, rest was "enforced" and respected by all ages. We were able to talk and rest ourselves. It was one thing that really helped lower our anxiety, and it was much needed.

Adoption can be stressful and I think mom's feel the anxiety the most because of their tender hearts. Please be kind and graceful to adoptive parents, and pray that their anxiety is lifted.

We also know of a young man struggling with depression and are concerned about him. I am personally concerned that it might even be circumstantial and would ask us all to pray that God will surround him with loving, wise people that will help him through this tough time....

Grateful for all He does in our life and his careful, watchful, protective eye, 2ndChron 16:9 Thank-you Lord.

Love, Alesia & Chris

PS...Jonathan was blessed with 2 good hockey games (2 goals each), and lots of teamwork passing, pucks in the net, great playing, 2 wins by quite a bit, and Jaclyn was blessed with a new violin. Each of our children had a little something special from Mache. Sophia wanted a devotional journal, and it is just perfect for her...God is so good to us (and so is my husband!).

The other side of the world.....

Katya wrote an essay yesterday that was quite long in English class and had the highest score. She is in an English class for student's new to English, but the teacher pushes them hard and they are doing well. She is doing well.

Anyway, I read it and there was a phrase in it that caught my eye....she checks her e-mail to check up on the other side of the world. I was listening to Rich Mullins yesterday and he has a song by the same title.

....but I have seen a people who've learned to walk in faith with mercy in their hearts and glory on their faces and I can see the people and I hope it won't be long until your kingdom comes. I put it in the video bar below.

Andre threw up from the visit to the dentist just seconds after asking for a bay (yeah!). And was fine the rest of the day, so I think it was the flouride. We had a good family day yesterday and are preparing for our homeschool conference this weekend. We are grateful for each good day. One daughter has been asking me every day if she is doing good without sassing! Her heart has really softened, and it is just a joy.....

May the peace of God that passes all understaning gaurd your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus today....

Love Alesia & Chris

Bumper Stickers & skating.......

I was driving Friday morning and saw a bumper sticker illustrating a little boy relieving himself on someone running for office. It was also this politician's birthday that day when I saw it and the irony really struck me as I had rec'd an e-mail calling for birthday messages & donations. I thought about how sad it is that real people doing what they think is right, can have others putting bumper stickers on their cars just slandering them! But I guess that is what free speech is. I also find it sad when people need to slander and hurt others with their free speech. Maybe there should be a bumper sticker that says to do that to "slanderous" people!

Anyway....Jonathan had about 4 hours of ice time today, including some fun 3on3 ice time. We actually played against some folks from our association a year+ ago, and it was nice to say hi and see a few folks. I miss a lot of those parents and kids. His team dominated, but it was still a good game and fun to watch.

The girls had their skating lessons today, and during lessons, there was a gentleman there that took to our family. He was in charge of the candy, and a big donator for our upcoming skating show, and he gave the kids some candy and little water guns. He was just plain kind to them. I told him how much we appreciated his generosity toward the show and how much Natasha & Sophia will be enjoying it. Jaclyn had a lot of violin today as her concert is coming up on Friday, so they had their dress rehearsal tonight as well as her lesson today. The girls also had their tambourine practice for their upcoming shows at nursing homes. The boys played capture the flag during the tambourine practice.

It was chilly and cold today, but bright and sunny. We are grateful for good days! We are thankful for your prayers....

Love Alesia & Chris

A busy Monday...& Love

Sometimes people just don't know what to say, and say the craziest things. I tell my children this every day (and need to heed it myself), but most words are just not needed, and most times they can be taken the wrong way....

A well meaning friend said to me yesterday..."I'm praying for you to love your children more"....and believe me, I need your prayers. But for some reason that comment just hit me the wrong way. I know many people adopt because they want more children, but there are a few out there that adopt just because they love the child not knowing anything about them, and just want them to have a home. They love them before they know them and grow to love them as they know them. And adoption takes a special kind of love that is really hard to understand. So the thing most people have when they go through all the adoption steps is a huge amount of love, or they would never even make it through this adventure....thus the comment just sat with me funny...that I would love my children more...I completely understand her comment.....I understand it's hard to completely understand us, unless you have walked in this path before.

Yesterday, the kids had 3 hours of dodge ball. The girls read and did their instruments during the little boy's phy-ed, and then we did lunch and a little Bible..."The Case for Easter, by Lee Strobel", a short little book written by a journalist who had set out to disprove Christianity, and found compelling evidence for it's truth.

Then off to more dodge ball for the girls. The little guys played as well, so at one time 6 of our children were playing dodge ball all at the same time..until the big boys threw a little too hard! A couple stopped for awhile, but for the most part all the kids played dodge ball for 2 hours after lunch! We returned home in time to put a little supper on and walk the dog and have Mima & Papa over for supper and dessert since we left early the day before and missed dessert.

We had a nice peaceful dinner and desert, and the kids really enjoyed having Mima & Papa over. They played a couple games of 500 with the kids, and Jaclyn had her music lesson, and I took Jonathan to his hockey game (W3-1), and he was +1. He put one in the net but it was not without a lot of help from his line..it was a pass pass, grab, bobble, shot on the ice through the goalies legs, first goal of the game!

All in all a very good day. I did have a great talk with a friend for awhile about their Easter and scavenger egg hunt on their farm and how she provided 4hours of entertainment for her and and her guest's children (another family who completely understands)...

So grateful for more good days...love from Alesia & Chris

Happy Easter! & Four hours........

Easter started for us with Friday off for Chris, Katya & Grandma! So we had Grandma around noon, and she supervised our cooking and entertained her grand kids with her new Ipad...

We napped, had a nice dinner, and very moving Good Friday service, at Grace Church of Roseville.

We finished off the night with more cooking in quiet as the kids went to bed quietly after our service.

Sat we had my two brothers over, but unfortunately little Owen was sick throwing up, so Scott came with his 2 girls. We had an egg hunt for them.  And Matt surprised us by coming with his girlfriend, so we had a nice time all together, talking and playing games. First time we have spent 4 hours together in a long time, all of us.  Was moved to tears one time out of the blue missing Dad, but didn't let on.  We've been together for this and that, and even Dad's funeral in December, but we have had things going, or someone else has and it has been shorter visits. It was just a nice visit.

Mom left us as we had Jonathan's end of the year celebration for his hockey team. They all took home trophies, such a wonderful surprise. Wonderful time with friends and parents from the hockey team, and again it was 4 hours. Honestly, I can't remember spending 4 hours in one place with one group and not needing to rush off for a long time. It was just plain fun and relaxing. It was, simply put, a wonderful hockey year.

Today we slept in! WOW! Kids had a little egg hunt with "just enough candy" and a nice little sermon from Dad about the real meaning of Easter. We headed to church almost cheerfully, except for the hurry up make dough for rolls with the mixer that's a bit broken! HE IS RISEN...just can't stop smiling from the celebration at church today. Mostly, it just a blessing to see hearts moved and changed, and for me anytime in our church it's like time stops, and I can rest in Him. I was talking with a young man from Jonathan's team, and it's kind of like golf & fishing too...everything stops, and there are no worries. He loves golfing in the summer. Anyway, when we are there all together as a family, I know at least for that hour+ my children are not getting hurt or hurting anyone, and I can rest in him, and today was just the same, but a reminder of why we even have church....because Jesus rose from the dead. The Messiah did come, and He does live, and that's why we even have that safe place to go each week. I cry most times I go out of relief. We have a good God!

We went to Chris' folks to celebrate Easter. I had told a friend Sat night that it was nice that we were going, because we were "banned" from Christmas. And I really had high hopes for the day, but it didn't go so well. We did have about 3 hours, but it was tense. I did enjoy playing scrabble and 500, and we had a wonderful meal. But it could have been bitter herbs for what filled the atmosphere.  I am not angry, only sad for my husband.

He was accused for saying something completely unlike him, and completely untrue, and shortly later we left quickly as a family while verbal trash was projected our way....

But we redeemed the day with baseball, another nap...and my favorite movie. I hope to put a link up to it. It is actually a children's movie, The Miracle Maker (about Jesus), but I watch it every year as a reminder of His nature and love for us, and to secure the scriptures for our children. It is full of them, in His words.

I'd have to say my favorite part of the day was talking with Sophia about the video clip of the woman at church today who never wanted to go to Church, but how she let God meet her where she was at. Sophia said it was such a relief to hear her talk, because the woman had such a horrible past. It was such a true, honest, meaningful conversation. My other favorite part was watching Jaclyn play with her little cousins rolling down the hill, and making dandelion crowns, and the boys playing baseball up in the field. The cousins knew how to make the most of a day off!

God is Good...He loves us, and there is nothing we can do to earn His love, or push it away, it's the same and more than we can imagine. We just need to let it in and believe it. Love from Alesia & Chris

PS...last year this time, we were putting in new wood, floors and moving. What a relief to actually be resting a bit! We are grateful, but know there is still much to do!

Recognition...reproof...repair...and rest!

Jaclyn attended her hockey RECOGNITION tonight at Mahtomedi for maintaining at least a B average or more on her team. She was the only one to show up from her team, even though 6 had made it. I found it interesting that the attendance was very poor, thus the importance on academics. I also found it interesting that they did not recognize any of the high school players, even though some of the coaches were there, so I am assuming that was done at a different time. Lastly, I am surprised at how rude the children were during the different talks from the various speakers. My favorite talk was on how we are slaves to our habits (or sins I would say), and how we need to replace the bad ones with good ones....very encouraging for me!


Jonathan (10) rec'd REPROOF from 2 sources today, not that he didn't deserve it. It appears he sassed one of my friends, and he has boasted unnecessarily to one of his home school mates. Also today, I was called from the High School where he has participated in chess all year and had a wonderful time and can compete equally with many of them. He had "blown his nose" on one of the guys! Well, when I was able to establish what happened, he said that they had been chiding him to wash his hands, which he did, but then vehemently accused him of lying (remember these are 16 year olds from public HS) and the moderator was not around, none of which warrants fighting back however.....so I picked him up and we had a nice talk...so far we have reached "I'm sorry for sassing you mom, and I'm sorry for not keeping my self control" both very sincere...one time Andre hauled off and slashed him in the arm with his hockey stick and it was all he could do not to flatten him, but Jonathan came to me first....one step in the right direction!

I think what bothers me the most, is every can see Jonathan's sins, they are right out there, bugging everyone. Natasha tried to start something with him, instead of respecting him today, about nothing, and he said something back to her...and she tried to blame it all on him.

I bet there are people reading this that are even saying "yeah, Jonathan deserves to get in trouble"....but we have some in our family who are so sneaky with their sin, and lie about it slyly, and can't even properly feel remorse for their unkind sneaky ways, and try to shift blame, but rarely get caught, and on the outside appear so sweet. I can see it all, and I'd rather know what I'm getting and say stop, than wonder all the time...Anyway, we'll have some extra writing tomorrow, I'm sure and a few other measures of discipline in place. God bless our sneaky ones and help them come to repentance as well..

Katya watched the kids tonight, and slammed our front screen door, as have I, as has James & Jonathan (4 of us have that issue that we just don't hide from you!), well, when that door gets slammed, it gets stuck! Our discipline I guess, and then Chris has to REPAIR it! Well, when I came inside the "other unstuck" door tonight from the poorly attended academic award ceremony, I instructed everyone to REPAIR with each other. I have never seen so many people trying to place blame on someone else...all after having watched Little Women Christmas! They should have been happy to help each other! No one respects their older siblings so hope we can find some good teaching materials about older

Well, they all headed to bed at about 8:30pm and we hope they are all getting some much needed REST!

God Bless your week, we'll press on into tomorrow, one day at a time.

Love Alesia & Chris

Miss Potter...

It was a full day...testing in the morning, break outside. Lunch inside and then reading from Beatrix Potter's books (Benjamin Bunny, etc), and then the viewing of her movie, Miss Potter (with captions on for easy comprehension).

What a testimony to "courtship" that movie is! I think love is deeper, and more committed when it isn't tainted by all the things people taint it with today. I especially love all the letter writing. Reminds me of my hope to read this book about John & Abigail Adams (Those Who Love by Irving Stone written in 1965, so hope it's good)..I'll let you know when I'm done with Robin Hood.

We squeezed in a trip to the library, and brought home 60+ books (2 movies, Rin Tin Tin & Little Women Christmas, no StarWars comic books this time, I just said no-can I say the pictures are just too dark!)....kids were anxious to get home, so we didn't stay long. I found the Sarah Plain & Tall books, haven't read them, but thought I heard they were good, if not, hope someone tells me! Usually it's Jaclyn, she tells us right away, which I really appreciate.

We are looking forward to this Easter weekend to spend time with family, and friends. We have gatherings for Easter and Jonathan's end of the year hockey party (celebration for first place!). We are looking forward to Good Friday's service as well as Easter's celebration, hope both bring you a couple heart beats closer to the heart of Jesus....

We didn't get it all done today, so need to work at it harder tomorrow, but all in all it was a good day without too much drama. We covered the testing, literature, Bible, some of us did math, and Jaclyn had her music lesson at home, which I personally love because I can do things, listen and smile all the while! A couple boys probably did too much outdoor time. I do have a hard time balancing it all. We didn't get the laundry folded, but did have supper on the table!

Chris cleared more woods...We can see clearer now, the shrubs are gone! No obstacles in our way (remember that song???) He gets to give a presentation to college students tomorrow! Go Professor Haak!

Love from Alesia & Chris

Nothing is Everything Part II

When you have days as good as today with nothing, no thing, bad in them, you have to celebrate!

Lots of hugs came my way today. A few lazies..and a few sassies, a few messies falling into the pond, lots of fixits from Chris, fund raising from Katya, and sibling bonding today! Thanks for all your prayers....girls played volleyball together, boys fell in the pond together, Jaclyn read a lot, and of course Jonathan played hockey twice today! And did well.

We are completely grateful for today! A wonderful peaceful day, and wanted you to know that "no bad or evil thing" is EVERYTHING!  : )

Thanks be to Him! Alesia & Chris

Nothing is Everything! And drama or disorder? And judgement....

Today was the first day that I can remember in the past year that I didn't need to be anywhere, drive anywhere, meet anyone, call anyone, do anything pressing, and for a tired out, not feeling so well mom with a tooth ache - this was EVERYTHING! I didn't drive anywhere. I did get up, but felt so horrible I laid back down until 11:30! (I haven't done this for as long as I can remember)...

The boys had baseball (I'm the hockey mom), so Dad did baseball duty. Jonathan had a blast!  I raked and started a fire that I was promptly told by our mayor to put out!!! So I did!!!!! And we'll be hauling it away, rather than burning it : ) He was VERY nice about it!

An interesting thing happened yesterday, at the ice rink. I saw 2 of my children skating and talking to someone that they pressure backwards to the rink edge. I asked my friend if her child was easily influenced or was an influencer...and I watched as my children pressured this child into a corner. Then shortly after that they exited the ice as did my children quickly, and I was able to establish that something was going on....I ask my older child what that was all about "What are you talking about, I didn't see anything...oh my sibling did it"..not knowing that I saw the whole thing....

Later at home, I was able to sit the two siblings down and ask for the truth..silence...then one spoke out about a story, mostly truthful I think. Then, the latter (who didn't see anything), spewed......"Why do you hate me?", "Why do you trust Jaclyn (who wasn't part of this thing at all), oh so you want to gang up on me, I stay up late because I think you hate me." And when I asked for the truth and they would go silent again, and then say "It's because I'm adopted, that's why you hate me, I can see it in your eyes"...

Finally the same story was repeated. We have had these mixed up talks ever so often in the past year. And the drama, straight out lying, and then blaming me, makes it hard for me to tell if we have RAD going, FAS, or just drama, but it's usually very intense with anger and pointing fingers. I was later cornered again, and asked who I hated the most....then after explaining that I don't hate anyone, and that it's hard for me to function in relationships I can't trust, I asked them to leave me, or allow me to leave, and that this negative behavior has to stop.  Again, silence. As I was getting up to move, I was told, "I'm thinking" in a demanding tone. I carried on. This child is very controlling. They also have a deep need to attach outside the home, and other disfunctional behaviors.... I keep wondering if it's just sin, or really something deeper...

Later I was apologized to and when I said I forgive you and love you, they broke down in tears, and I tried to explain that some how it feels as though they are trying to keep me from loving them, and really would rather be a victim of unhealthy abuse, than to be truthful, and learn how to be loved like a child.

It has been good today. Sometimes it is 4 bad days, and then 3 good ones, but this behavior is very disruptive to our family and school day. I have learned that I need to just discipline swiftly for it, but I am debating over getting testing done for drama verses disorder....

Recently I have been told to excercise (yes I need this), don't get mad (yes that doesn't work), and most recently just "were you different, and that is why you had a good day"....and  usually I am not any different from day to day...but the drama is....

I am so lonely for someone out there who understands! I have chosen the last few months to "be different", tired, exhausted, crying, empty most days, but in front of those who are trying to inflict emotional harm (yes trying to), I will be different, and have had to be different.

I hope someday I can help someone in our shoes today, because these days are long, unpeaceful most days, loud, tiring, and all that I can handle to a point, but when the dark dark yuck of sin enters in, and the ungratefulness, rudeness, spewing toward me....

You know it's like the marathoner who has run a good race, with a good time, up in the top of his race...only to cross the finish line and have all his friends and family say "you're did horribly, you are so slow, why did you even race, what were you thinking"...and he has to muster up all his energy (not much left after the race) to say...."please stop, I did it for Jesus"......and find solitude to recoup!

It's a blessing to serve, and I am grateful for my husband, and few people in my life I trust whole heartedly, and mostly my Savior, because when the race is over, I know he will say good work, my faithful servant....

May we all encourage each other in our Lord....to run our races with His strength & endurance...

To His Glory! Alesia & Chris

Raking, Raccoons, Raining & Reading...

Luke 6:21...blessed are you when you weep now, for you shall laugh.....vs 25 woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep.

Some days I really "get" that verse. And this one as well.......

Mark 9:24, Immediately, the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"

We (ok I raked)....and we did some cleaning in the yard. Had too big of a fire, but it was completely under control and it is raining now..Chris pulled some trees with the city's tree remover when he came home, so we're getting our land cleaned out...the kids had a couple friends over today (during raking!), and it's really interesting to see their behavior change immediately...just no boundaries, foolish, sneaking things that are not ok...etc.

Chris and Sophia went to Sam's alone, and stocked up on groceries...while the kids bathed and cleaned.  I was at hockey with Jonathan.

Jonathan was humbled on a 5-2 loss for his team and he said he was out there when at least 4 of the goals were scored. It's been a long time since he's had a negative ratio game, so will probably set some fire to his skates for the next ice time...They were a level ahead of us, and we were tied in the first 2 periods, so really it was a pretty good game until the end.

Katya is madly fund raising for a hopeful trip to Costa Rica (next year I believe), and she doesn't have school tomorrow - yeah for her!

Jaclyn finished skinning her racoon today, it took her all day, but it was beautiful out.

We did school, we have been doing reading, math, and Bible. We did read it outloud again today, we're studying hypocrisy...today it was about how God looks at the heart, and not the outward appearance. It was very appropriate for some of our clan.

We are encouraging reading, so they can get ready for upcoming tests. Andre and James are slowly coming around, and I think Sophia and Natasha's comprehension is getting better, but there are still many words they do not know when they read outloud. No troubles for Jonathan and Jaclyn. I'm "fencing" my way through Robin Hood, and can honestly say after 15 chapters, I'm finally into it. Jaclyn has asked me to read it for 2+ years!  We may watch the movie if I can ever finish it!

Hope the rain softens the earth so we can pluck some more brush from out yard...better go check for ticks. I have a very painful (nauseating) tooth ache..and am down about some things, but today was a good day, we handled all the issues swiftly and kindly, and we accomplished much....

Love in Christ, Alesia and Chris

Better Days...

I am having better days, and able to handle the drama better. I didn't realize that I can handle the drama, moodies, sass, silent treatments, lying, just like any other issue..."Ok, that's enough, stop it, or here's the consequence." I forget that it's ok to have consequences for all behaviors...sneaky, drama, or right out there in front of you, so thus, I am having better days. Is there still drama, yes at the supper table, yes when I leave, yes when I say no..but I just say stop it!

That's the common thread I have heard over and over these past few weeks, say stop it, discipline for it, and let it go...the latter, the hardest for me!

Katya & I made it to the dentist today! Kids read scripture (amongst other books as well) today. Chris pulled brush and the kids cleaned up. I met with a friend who recently adopted, and I understand her struggles. Jonathan and Andre are still skating this Spring and finding the back of the net multiple times.

Sophia & Natasha are ramping up for their skating show. James is enjoying the outdoors. Jaclyn skates a little now until her camp in June, but she is putting more time musically and reading on her kindle.  Katya will be singing for an upcoming Lacrosse game at the Excel. I'm coming around from the tough winter, thank you for your prayers! And Chris is doing well, working out, planning jobs for our home, taking care of our cars, and keeping the kids in line.

Thanks for all your prayers and good will. Happy Easter, Alesia & Chris

We had an overnight! And more drama...

We had the quietest overnight every recorded. We were able to go out to dinner, and then stay over night at Chris' folks just the 2 of us for one night. We just sat there talking quietly, putzing on our computers, and enjoying the quiet. We slept from 9pm to 9am, and then I walked and met Chris at the community center where he was working out.  We had a quiet Sat as well! All was quiet and peaceful, just nice. The kids did pretty well, but I can see we're having some drama with some kids, and honestly, I'm just not up for it...so........I won't even go there...

Andre scored a few times at his 3on3 this morning and did great! Jonathan top shelfed a nice shot today in a Showcase game and for the most part had fun at his 3on3 this evening. I enjoyed his and Jaclyn's company today while the rest of the crew worked hard at home cleaning and pulling out brush around our home.

Jonathan and I just tied 248 each at scrabble! Best word was Whiz for 69! (Jonathan's word).

I'm looking forward to pulling more weeds tomorrow, sure gives the stronghold of sin a new meaning when you need to clear out all the under brush!

Church was great today...I always feel as though I can run the race set before me on Sundays and feel like I come in on crutches by the following Sunday! Hope to change some verses and songs on our page later this week.

God's richest blessings to you and your family in Christ the Risen Savior at Easter!

Love Alesia & Chris