First Week of School 2012

First Week of School 2012
First Week of School 2012

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Nothing is Everything! And drama or disorder? And judgement....

Today was the first day that I can remember in the past year that I didn't need to be anywhere, drive anywhere, meet anyone, call anyone, do anything pressing, and for a tired out, not feeling so well mom with a tooth ache - this was EVERYTHING! I didn't drive anywhere. I did get up, but felt so horrible I laid back down until 11:30! (I haven't done this for as long as I can remember)...

The boys had baseball (I'm the hockey mom), so Dad did baseball duty. Jonathan had a blast!  I raked and started a fire that I was promptly told by our mayor to put out!!! So I did!!!!! And we'll be hauling it away, rather than burning it : ) He was VERY nice about it!

An interesting thing happened yesterday, at the ice rink. I saw 2 of my children skating and talking to someone that they pressure backwards to the rink edge. I asked my friend if her child was easily influenced or was an influencer...and I watched as my children pressured this child into a corner. Then shortly after that they exited the ice as did my children quickly, and I was able to establish that something was going on....I ask my older child what that was all about "What are you talking about, I didn't see anything...oh my sibling did it"..not knowing that I saw the whole thing....

Later at home, I was able to sit the two siblings down and ask for the truth..silence...then one spoke out about a story, mostly truthful I think. Then, the latter (who didn't see anything), spewed......"Why do you hate me?", "Why do you trust Jaclyn (who wasn't part of this thing at all), oh so you want to gang up on me, I stay up late because I think you hate me." And when I asked for the truth and they would go silent again, and then say "It's because I'm adopted, that's why you hate me, I can see it in your eyes"...

Finally the same story was repeated. We have had these mixed up talks ever so often in the past year. And the drama, straight out lying, and then blaming me, makes it hard for me to tell if we have RAD going, FAS, or just drama, but it's usually very intense with anger and pointing fingers. I was later cornered again, and asked who I hated the most....then after explaining that I don't hate anyone, and that it's hard for me to function in relationships I can't trust, I asked them to leave me, or allow me to leave, and that this negative behavior has to stop.  Again, silence. As I was getting up to move, I was told, "I'm thinking" in a demanding tone. I carried on. This child is very controlling. They also have a deep need to attach outside the home, and other disfunctional behaviors.... I keep wondering if it's just sin, or really something deeper...

Later I was apologized to and when I said I forgive you and love you, they broke down in tears, and I tried to explain that some how it feels as though they are trying to keep me from loving them, and really would rather be a victim of unhealthy abuse, than to be truthful, and learn how to be loved like a child.

It has been good today. Sometimes it is 4 bad days, and then 3 good ones, but this behavior is very disruptive to our family and school day. I have learned that I need to just discipline swiftly for it, but I am debating over getting testing done for drama verses disorder....

Recently I have been told to excercise (yes I need this), don't get mad (yes that doesn't work), and most recently just "were you different, and that is why you had a good day"....and  usually I am not any different from day to day...but the drama is....

I am so lonely for someone out there who understands! I have chosen the last few months to "be different", tired, exhausted, crying, empty most days, but in front of those who are trying to inflict emotional harm (yes trying to), I will be different, and have had to be different.

I hope someday I can help someone in our shoes today, because these days are long, unpeaceful most days, loud, tiring, and all that I can handle to a point, but when the dark dark yuck of sin enters in, and the ungratefulness, rudeness, spewing toward me....

You know it's like the marathoner who has run a good race, with a good time, up in the top of his race...only to cross the finish line and have all his friends and family say "you're did horribly, you are so slow, why did you even race, what were you thinking"...and he has to muster up all his energy (not much left after the race) to say...."please stop, I did it for Jesus"......and find solitude to recoup!

It's a blessing to serve, and I am grateful for my husband, and few people in my life I trust whole heartedly, and mostly my Savior, because when the race is over, I know he will say good work, my faithful servant....

May we all encourage each other in our Lord....to run our races with His strength & endurance...

To His Glory! Alesia & Chris

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Raking, Raccoons, Raining & Reading...

Luke 6:21...blessed are you when you weep now, for you shall laugh.....vs 25 woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep.

Some days I really "get" that verse. And this one as well.......

Mark 9:24, Immediately, the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"

We (ok I raked)....and we did some cleaning in the yard. Had too big of a fire, but it was completely under control and it is raining now..Chris pulled some trees with the city's tree remover when he came home, so we're getting our land cleaned out...the kids had a couple friends over today (during raking!), and it's really interesting to see their behavior change immediately...just no boundaries, foolish, sneaking things that are not ok...etc.

Chris and Sophia went to Sam's alone, and stocked up on groceries...while the kids bathed and cleaned.  I was at hockey with Jonathan.

Jonathan was humbled on a 5-2 loss for his team and he said he was out there when at least 4 of the goals were scored. It's been a long time since he's had a negative ratio game, so will probably set some fire to his skates for the next ice time...They were a level ahead of us, and we were tied in the first 2 periods, so really it was a pretty good game until the end.

Katya is madly fund raising for a hopeful trip to Costa Rica (next year I believe), and she doesn't have school tomorrow - yeah for her!

Jaclyn finished skinning her racoon today, it took her all day, but it was beautiful out.

We did school, we have been doing reading, math, and Bible. We did read it outloud again today, we're studying hypocrisy...today it was about how God looks at the heart, and not the outward appearance. It was very appropriate for some of our clan.

We are encouraging reading, so they can get ready for upcoming tests. Andre and James are slowly coming around, and I think Sophia and Natasha's comprehension is getting better, but there are still many words they do not know when they read outloud. No troubles for Jonathan and Jaclyn. I'm "fencing" my way through Robin Hood, and can honestly say after 15 chapters, I'm finally into it. Jaclyn has asked me to read it for 2+ years!  We may watch the movie if I can ever finish it!

Hope the rain softens the earth so we can pluck some more brush from out yard...better go check for ticks. I have a very painful (nauseating) tooth ache..and am down about some things, but today was a good day, we handled all the issues swiftly and kindly, and we accomplished much....

Love in Christ, Alesia and Chris

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Better Days...

I am having better days, and able to handle the drama better. I didn't realize that I can handle the drama, moodies, sass, silent treatments, lying, just like any other issue..."Ok, that's enough, stop it, or here's the consequence." I forget that it's ok to have consequences for all behaviors...sneaky, drama, or right out there in front of you, so thus, I am having better days. Is there still drama, yes at the supper table, yes when I leave, yes when I say no..but I just say stop it!

That's the common thread I have heard over and over these past few weeks, say stop it, discipline for it, and let it go...the latter, the hardest for me!

Katya & I made it to the dentist today! Kids read scripture (amongst other books as well) today. Chris pulled brush and the kids cleaned up. I met with a friend who recently adopted, and I understand her struggles. Jonathan and Andre are still skating this Spring and finding the back of the net multiple times.

Sophia & Natasha are ramping up for their skating show. James is enjoying the outdoors. Jaclyn skates a little now until her camp in June, but she is putting more time musically and reading on her kindle.  Katya will be singing for an upcoming Lacrosse game at the Excel. I'm coming around from the tough winter, thank you for your prayers! And Chris is doing well, working out, planning jobs for our home, taking care of our cars, and keeping the kids in line.

Thanks for all your prayers and good will. Happy Easter, Alesia & Chris

Sunday, March 25, 2012

We had an overnight! And more drama...

We had the quietest overnight every recorded. We were able to go out to dinner, and then stay over night at Chris' folks just the 2 of us for one night. We just sat there talking quietly, putzing on our computers, and enjoying the quiet. We slept from 9pm to 9am, and then I walked and met Chris at the community center where he was working out.  We had a quiet Sat as well! All was quiet and peaceful, just nice. The kids did pretty well, but I can see we're having some drama with some kids, and honestly, I'm just not up for it...so........I won't even go there...

Andre scored a few times at his 3on3 this morning and did great! Jonathan top shelfed a nice shot today in a Showcase game and for the most part had fun at his 3on3 this evening. I enjoyed his and Jaclyn's company today while the rest of the crew worked hard at home cleaning and pulling out brush around our home.

Jonathan and I just tied 248 each at scrabble! Best word was Whiz for 69! (Jonathan's word).

I'm looking forward to pulling more weeds tomorrow, sure gives the stronghold of sin a new meaning when you need to clear out all the under brush!

Church was great today...I always feel as though I can run the race set before me on Sundays and feel like I come in on crutches by the following Sunday! Hope to change some verses and songs on our page later this week.

God's richest blessings to you and your family in Christ the Risen Savior at Easter!

Love Alesia & Chris

Sunday, March 18, 2012

We did it! Mar 2012

Jonathan's team took 1st in our District! Thanks to a great team and great coaches!

Jaclyn played at Orchestra Hall!

James turned 9, and Sophia turned 13.

Chris changed the breaks on the big white van!Yeah! And picked up 2 loads of wood.

We had Grandma & Aunts and Uncles over for a birthday party.

And Jaclyn is almost done skinning a raccoon!

Good thing this all happened over Spring Break! Hope next week is just a little bit more back to normal, but no complaints here, we are grateful for this past week and the time we had together with family & friends.

Love from Alesia & Chris






 

 


 




Monday, March 12, 2012

Spring Break and Stuff...James' birthday...

I think I came close to a nervous breakdown a couple weeks ago...really. I went up to my Mom's a weekend ago and we had a nice time, and I slept alot..with a cold that has been hanging on. We had a pretty good week this week, but I still found the need to sleep a lot.  Just really worn out...but finding ways to get away, or even just rest when I need to....

Andre & Natasha admitted to me that sometimes they do try see if they can get me upset. Natasha likes to answer a math problem wrong (1/2 of 4 is....1.5?)...and then look at me to see if I get frustrated. And Andre likes to leave urine in the toilet downstairs and say that he doesn't, and sometimes do it just to see if he can get me upset because it is kind of fun... :  ) . And then they both hug me later and love me soooo much. I guess at least they are being honest. And yes, sometimes I need to pull Pollyanna out of my pocket..or I'll just scream!

James had a nice family birthday today with a Star Wars, lego, game, Angry Birds, still learning how to read theme. He is nine.  He's close to reading, but he's a math whiz! We're trying to get there before test time in April! My favorite quote was to our new guitar teacher that we like a lot and can give a referral to you if you need one, his quote "I wish I could stay 8 forever", that will stick with me for years. He has never wanted to grow up, and he is really sweet about it. I think he really likes being our "baby". We'll put some pictures out there soon.

No real drama this week. I was able to explain myself a little bit to a couple daughters, and one gets it, I think, and the other, I'm not so sure. We'll see in time.

Kids are having fun in the melting warm weather. Chris is making plans for our home, Jonathan is preparing for his District game this Thursday, Jaclyn will play violin at Orchestra hall, Sophia & James will have a small family party together on Sunday, and hope Jonathan will take home a blue ribbon Sunday afternoon. Katya is hoping to pass her driver's test, we'll have Granda visiting this weekend as well as Aunts & Uncles, so will be a fun busy time.

Tonight we stayed up past 10pm! We watched the last Star Wars movie, they Underestimated the Power of the Good side! And I do too, sometimes! Kids are going to bed nicely, despite the cupcakes & icecream sugar high! Chris and I will enjoy a few minutes together before we fade, and back to some routine tomorrow!

Love from Alesia & Chris

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Waiting...A few answers..

I have a hard time waiting, so I love the internet, I can log into my e-mail, get Pandor started and blog all at the same time...I'm sure there is some computer hacker out there just waiting to read all my e-mail secrets (ha ha ha ha...the most boring time spent there, let me tell you!). Oh..I did have a daughter want to read my e-mail, I said go ahead..she agreed, BORING...at least she was reading!

Anyway..I have a few answers for myself.....so if you have muliple children, multiple issues, loud homes and you are sensitive to it...and reaching nervous break down points...maybe these few little things will help....

Get out....I realized that I am a "care giver" and I need to get out.
Find quiet... I have been taking 1 or more children to the library, can I just say "ahhhhhhhhhhhh".....
also, I do go to my room and close the door...it just really helps.
Find health...I have been having the kids pack a lunch and then I might buy myself some thing that costs a little more, but is healthier.

Lastly, get through to your main support some how that you are hurting...and maybe they will understand enough to support or relieve you, not just "fix you"....

Above all else, find loving christians who will pray for you and encourage you!

I was able to tuck James in with a song tonight (always brings tears still), and I sang it with Jonathan as well, and he sang along : ), did walk the dog tonight and had coffee with a friend who just adopted and things are not so easy at home. I feel like I had the day of my life.

I had a good weekend with my Mom, even though I have been sick and didn't feel well, it was very restful. I have been crying most every day, some more than others, so I know that I am having some type of breakdown, but feel as though it's beginning to pass, and hope my husband understands that I just can't "change it"..but really need a reprieve.

Tonight we had a more normal night at home, with pleasant talk with everyone, and it was a relief to say the least. Tomorrow we hope for a longer day of school, mostly reading and math, so hope all goes well, as I don't have the best attitudes in our school, so I get closer to sending a few to school....

Love from Alesia & Chris!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Ok..Pollyanna it is!

My husband basically said it's all in your attitude, so here we go....enjoy Pollyanna! : )

: ) HI! What a beautiful white snowy day! I can tell the Vitamin D and sun is working as I was able to contribute to shovelling today at 7:30!

Jaclyn is doing her finance class homework. I took her shopping yesterday for some shirts, and we plan to get her a kindle as a reward for her accomplishments!!

Jonathan is reading this morning. James is still sick so sleeping in a little. Sophia & Natasha are up, and Natasha did her hygiene today without being asked : ) YEAH!!!!

Andre is up as well, listening to Narnia. I need to take Jaclyn to her finance class, and Jonathan will go with.

Katya gets up every morning and makes an egg breakfast, and is never late for the bus! She talks a little with Dad before she goes to school. She is a good girl.

I love Pandora because I can tune in good praise music when I'm in the kitchen cooking or doing dishes....

Prov 15: The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.

God bless your day! Have a good attitude! : ) Love Alesia (ps...His grace is sufficient for thee)    : )

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Ok...some days are harder (for me) than others...

Can I just say all the little things really make me think twice about things...

Just yesterday I had a black eyeliner pencil missing...so I talked to Katya about it..she said that she doesn't use them, but she loaned me one just like it. Today my pencil re-appeared in my purse. No one can admit it taking it and returning it.

I know money has been taken from my purse...Sophia always has money to spare...

Andre's hands smell like butt all the time.....

Natasha forgets to change her underwear and needs daily reminders to do her hygiene...

Jonathan is a sass....

Every time kids watch a movie someone forgets to flush a toilet and it sits for 1 or two days..not a welcome suprise....

I can't stand the lying...the disfunction in older kids, today I feel like submitting myself to a mental hospital..it's not even fair...that I am going crazy and have enough sanity to think that I need help, and everyone else just walks around stealing, lying, and sassing.

Even Jaclyn's sassing today, because I am so upset I can't stand to be around anyone......usually she's the stable one, but I'm sure she has days too.....

All little things..that go unfixed....not an option for me, can't do it anymore....hope to send a few to school next year...hopefully they will steal and get caught there...sorry, I can't function in deception....

I guess today is a day for needed prayers...Alesia


December 2011 Haak Family

December 2011 Haak Family
December 2011 Haak Family

Pray for those who persecute you....

Matt 5:11 "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven...."

Matt 5:44" But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of the Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.


Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear.....

Phil 4:5-9 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.


2nd Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

We adopted 4 older siblings from Ukraine in 2010 and hope we can help.

We will share what we learn and help you when we can. There are great supports here on this page. Sometimes it's one day, moment and breath at a time. And you're not alone. Love, Alesia & Chris